Back to You
by TowMondler
Summary: Monica and Chandler always end up back with each other
1. Back To You

Thanks for reviewing! Here is the next fic, I hope that you enjoy it and please review and tell me what you thought. Monica and Chandler broke up shortly after they started dating and he moved away. The song is called Back to You, by John Mayer. 

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the song. 

Monica sat at her kitchen table and picked up the last of the RSVPs. The postmark said Chicago, and there was only one person that she knew lived in Chicago. She ripped it open and saw that it was from Chandler. He had checked that he would not be there. There was a note enclosed and she picked it up and began to read. 

_Dear Monica,_

I'm so happy for you. I'm sure that you will make a beautiful bride, and I know that Pete is a very lucky man. I will not be able to be there, because it will hurt to see you marry someone else. But as I only wish you happiness, I hope that everything in your life goes the way that you've planned it. Send my love to the gang, and my apologizes for not be able to make it. 

Chandler

Monica reread the letter before placing it on the table in front of her and sighing. She was getting married in a few months. To Pete. She loved Pete, she kept repeating to herself as a mantra. You love Pete. You love Pete. You're marrying Pete. She twisted the gorgeous ring around her finger and stared back down at the letter again. He wasn't coming. Was she happy? She missed him sure, but seeing him again would resurface feelings that she had safely hidden away. The kitchen door swung open and Pete came in. She was living with him of course, and he kissed her cheek.

"Is that the last of them?" He asked. She nodded silently wiping the tear that had made its way down her cheek. Pete did not notice this, Pete barely noticed anything. He kissed her again this time on the lips and pulled her up by her hand. 

"That's the last of them," she told him again. 

"Good, come here I have something to show you." She looked at him curiously, but followed out in the living room of their penthouse. There were pictures laying on the table.

"What are these?" She asked.

"I was thinking that the apartment is nice and everything, but maybe we should start house hunting," he told her. "I mean, you and I both want kids, and I want them to grow up in a house in the suburbs." She nodded showing that she understood. "Of course we'll keep the apartment too, and stay here on the weekdays until we have kids." They sat on the couch together looking at the pictures that Pete had placed in front of her. She leafed through and found one that she liked. I'm happy, she told herself. I have everything that I want. But a nagging feeling inside told her that she wasn't being perfectly honest with herself. 

Back to you

It always comes around 

back to you

I tried to forget you

I tried to stay away 

but it's too late

Chandler stood at the back of the church. He had lied of course. He had every intention of seeing her get married, but he didn't want to have to face her or their old friends. So he stayed hidden behind a large display of flowers and silently let the tears fall as the love of his life married another man. He was right, Monica did look beautiful, but what hurt, was that she looked happy. He wanted her to be happy, but he didn't want her to be happy with anyone but him. Chandler saw that she gazed into Pete's eyes looking completely fulfilled. Was it a good acting job? Or was she really that much in love with him. Chandler prayed it was the first, but with a sinking feeling realized that it had to be the latter. She loved Pete. He had lost. He had played the game, but lost. He had lost Monica, and along with her, everything that he had fantasized about his future, the truth was he had always had a crush on her. He had always held her on a pedal stool. He watched as they announced the new Mr. and Mrs. Peter Becker and Rachel, who was her maid of honor, handed her a bouquet of red roses that contrasted with her dark hair that had been piled on top of her head with a tiny tiara making her look truly like a princess. She smiled as she passed the guests who were there for her. He couldn't go to the reception, he couldn't see them dance their first dance as husband and wife, and he couldn't hear the toasts made to them. Because he didn't think that he could handle it. Chandler needed to leave. He needed air and space to think.

"Chandler?" It was Joey. He had been caught. He turned around.

"Hey," he said quietly.

"What are you doing here? Monica said that you couldn't come."

"I wasn't going to," he admitted. Joey had been the only one to know about Monica and Chandler's short, but passionate affair. 

"You always come back to her," Joey said giving him a piece of wisdom that was rare coming from his friend. "You can't live without her, and deep down you do want her to be happy, even if it is with the billionaire that we all thought was crazy. On the surface you wanted to see her run out on him, but that would have caused her pain, and that's something that you never want. But you always come back to her." Chandler nodded.

"I have nothing to come back to anymore," he told his friend. "It was good seeing you. I'll call. " With that Chandler escaped through the backdoor leaving Joey to go to the reception. Monica danced with Pete and she held onto her new husband, but Joey could see in her eyes that if she would've been dancing with someone else right then, she would have been happier. 

__

I'm so good at forgetting

And I quit every game I play

but forgive me, love

I can't turn and walk away

"Pete and I have an announcement to make," Monica said at dinner a few months later. "We're going to have a baby!" Everyone offered their congratulations, but Joey held back. He wanted to scream at Monica. Do you know how many hearts you're breaking? Yours, Chandler's, and eventually Pete's. You can't live without Chandler, who are you kidding? You'll go back to him. He gave her smile and a hug and wondered if he should break this news to Chandler. It would undoubtedly break what remained of his heart. They sat in Monica and Pete's penthouse and admired the view and the others admired the couple. They thought that Monica and Pete were the perfect couple. Joey wanted to say to them, you never saw the perfect couple. Chandler and Monica were the perfect couple. The way that they looked into each other's eyes, and the way that they complemented each other so well. Joey had been sure, as he figured Monica and Chandler had been, that they were going to be together forever. 

"Joey?" It was Phoebe.

"What Pheebs?"

"What's the matter? You know Monica is going to kill you if you're depressed on her big night," she teased. Joey offered a smile.

"I was just thinking about Chandler," he said.

"Oh yeah, someone should call him and tell him the wonderful news," she said. She ran to find a phone, and Joey hit his forehead. He didn't have to worry about whether or not to call Chandler. That was being taken care of. 

Chandler's phone rang and he answered. 

"Hello?"

"Chandler?"

"Hey Pheebs, how are you?"

"Good, you?"

"Fine, how's New York?" 

"Good."

"And everyone?" What he wanted to ask was Monica. How was Monica? He wanted to single her out and talk about her for hours. 

"Everyone is good. We called because one of us is about to become two," Phoebe said in her usual confusing way.

"Huh?" 

"Monica is pregnant!" She was pregnant? Chandler felt his grip begin to slip on the phone handle and he told Phoebe that hat of course was wonderful news and hung up before he had a total breakdown on the phone. Chandler had hoped that Monica would come to her senses, divorce Pete, and come to Chicago and be with him. This fantasy of his reoccurred in his head every night. But every morning, he woke up to find that he was laying in an empty bed by himself. And she was miles away with her husband. And they were going to have a baby. He had been officially forgotten for a better offer, a better life then he had been able to offer her. 

__

Back to you

it always comes around 

back to you

I walk with your shadow

I'm sleeping in my bed

with your silhouette

"Chandler, please come visit," Rachel had pleaded.

"Yes, we miss you," Ross was on the other line. 

"For me?" Phoebe had gotten on the line and now was joining in the campaign to get Chandler back to New York. 

"I...I have a lot of work to do," he had lied. 

"Please?" Rachel asked. And Chandler had relinquished. Now he was standing in Rachel's apartment, that once she had cohabited with Monica looking around at all the pictures that brought back so many memories. 

"How's Monica?" He asked. Joey raised one eyebrow at him. 

"She's good," Rachel said smiling as she placed the dishes on the table for dinner. "You know, Kathryn is two. She's so cute!"

"And she's still married to Pete?" Chandler tried to be nonchalant about it. 

"Yep," Rachel said. "Although, he's never around, so I don't know how she can stay married to the guy."

"Hey, he's a good father," Ross said defending his brother-in-law. "And he loves Monica, I mean everyone can see that." What's not to love? Chandler thought. Everyone should adore her. 

"We're all going over there tomorrow night for dinner," Phoebe said. "You'll get to see her then." They continued to talk about Chandler and his life in Chicago, but his mind was preoccupied. Tomorrow he would see her again. For the first time in three years. 

They pulled up to the mansion and got out. Chandler followed his friends as they knocked on the door. A butler opened it and ushered them in. Pete appeared in the front hall and gave everyone a hug.

"Chandler? It's so good to see you! Monica is going to be so thrilled that you're here! Honey? Guess who came all the way from Illinois!" Monica appeared at the top of the steps with a little girl clutching her hand. She leaned down and carried the girl, who looked just like her down the stairs. 

"Chandler? Is that you?" She was still as beautiful as he had remembered. 

"Hi," was all he could manage to get out. 

"Auntie Rachel!" Kate exclaimed wiggling out of her mother's arms and toddling over to her aunt. Rachel scooped her up and kissed her nose.

"Hey Katie bear," she said. Everyone else began fawning all over the small child, but Chandler and Monica remained in their original positions. They had forgotten everything else and just saw each other. Monica knew that the feelings that she had had were still there. They had just been waiting to resurface. Pete slipped his arm around his wife and kissed her temple, and Chandler was once again reminded that she wasn't his. 

"We should all go out to eat," Pete suggested.

"You know what?" Monica said. "I don't really feel that good, you guys go and I'll stay back." 

"Are you sure?" Pete asked.

"Uh-huh," Monica gave him a smile. She picked up her daughter and smiled. "You have fun."

"I'll stay here," Chandler said. "I just had a big meal. You five go." Pete nodded jovially and gave his wife and daughter a kiss. 

"I'll drive separately," Pete said. "I have to run to the office afterwards."

"You four can just go on home after," Chandler told his friends. "No point in coming all the way out here to get me. I'll call a cab." Joey raised an eyebrow, but ushered the rest of his friends out of the front door. 

"Bye," Rachel smiled and waved. Pete went and got his car and the other four got into theirs and drove away leaving Monica and Chandler alone. 

__

Should have smiled in that picture

if it's the last that I'll see of you

It's the least that you

Could not do

"So," Chandler said a few hours and glasses of wine later. "Did you think about me when you were getting married?" She looked at him in surprise. 

"No," she said shaking her head. "It was too hard to think about you, so I never let myself do it." He seemed satisfied with that answer and looked deep into her blue eyes. 

"You're daughter looks just like you," he told her. 

"I know she does, poor thing," Monica said laughing. 

"Why? She'll be the most beautiful woman in the world next to her mother," he said. "And she'll break hearts just like her mother." 

"Whose heart did I break?" Monica asked. 

"Mine," he told her leaning forward. "You broke mine." 

"I didn't mean to," she whispered. He was an inch away from her. "It went both ways you know. You broke my heart as well." As they were about to kiss, the doorbell rang.

"Saved by the bell," Chandler said. Monica got herself back together and found herself flushed. The butler came into the room.

"Mrs. Becker? There are officers here to see you," he told her.

"Thanks Henry." Chandler followed her out of the room and into the massive front hallway. There were two police officers standing there.

"Are you Mrs. Becker?" They asked. She nodded.

"How can I help you?"

"We're sorry, there was an accident and your husband was killed instantly," the first officer said. Monica felt her knees go weak under her body and she began to drop to the floor before everything went black. Chandler grabbed her before she hit the ground and kneeled down.

"Monica? Mon? Wake up and talk to me," he begged. She didn't stir and he carried her to the couch in Pete's office and laid her down. He got the information from the police and thanked them and went back to where she was laying. He sat with her until she woke up.

"Please tell me that that was a dream," she pleaded. 

"I'm so sorry Mon," he told her.

"But...Pete! Katie can't grow up without a dad! I need him!" She was sobbing and clinging to Chandler. "And we...almost....he was so...I didn't....what did I do?" Chandler tried to calm her down, and eventually called the doctor when she wouldn't stop. She was shaking and he was afraid that she would go into shock. The doctor came and gave her sleeping medicine and she took it and went right to sleep. Chandler found the phone and called the apartment to tell the gang what had happened. 

"Is Monica okay?" Phoebe asked.

"She's pretty shaken up about it," Chandler admitted. 

"We'll be there first thing tomorrow morning," Ross told him. "Can you stay there with her?" 

"Sure," Chandler said running his hand through his hair. The wine's affects had worn off long before and he couldn't contain the emotions that he was feeling anymore and went into the bathroom and threw water on his face. He had to stay strong, because the next day Monica would need him and he needed to be there for her. 

Leave the light on

I'll never give up on you

leave the light on

for me too

The funeral was a couple days later, Monica held her daughter's hand tightly as they made their way through the press gathered outside the church and then outside the gates of their house. Pete had been a well-known business man, and all of his fortune had been left to Monica and Kathryn. Kate didn't really understand what was happening and she kept asking for her father, and eventually Rachel came over and took her away from Monica, because Monica looked like she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. After the funeral, Monica locked herself in her bedroom and wouldn't let anyone in. Ross knocked on the door.

"What?" She yelled through the door.

"I just wanted to know if you were okay?" He called.

"Fine," was the muffled response and he shook his head and went back downstairs. 

"Is she okay?" Phoebe asked. She hated to see her friend go through this. Now Monica was a widow at the age of thirty, and a single mother. She had a nanny of course, but she no longer had the support system that Pete had offered her. Chandler didn't know what to do, so he booked the first flight out and went back to Chicago, but found that he felt even more helpless there, so he was back within the week. 

__

back to me

I know that it comes 

back to me

doesn't it scare you 

your will is not as strong

as it used to be

~* Did you like the start of this fic? Should I keep going? Tell me what you thought! Please review!!*~


	2. What Makes You Stay

~* Thanks for reviewing, please keep doing it! Here is the second part. The song is by Deana Carter. *~

Disclaimer: Not my characters, although Kathryn is mine, and not my song. 

"Monica," they were all sitting at dinner a year later. Monica was doing much better, mostly for Kate's sake. (An: I changed the spelling to Katy. Sorry, I like this way better, its easier to type). She lifted her head and saw that it was Chandler who was speaking to her.

"Yes?" 

"I was thinking that you and Katy and me could all go to the beach in a few weeks," he said. 

"That's a nice idea," she said. She returned her focus to her meal. 

"Mon?" This time it was Rachel. 

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay?" 

"Fine," she answered. "If you'll excuse me, I'm done." She got up from the table. Kate came running in after a day out with Jack and Judy.

"Mommy!" Monica's face lit up when she saw her daughter and picked her up. 

"How was you day sweetheart?" 

"Good," she answered. "We made a picture, look." Kate held up a drawing for her mother to see. 

"That's beautiful baby," she told her and carried her out of the room. Chandler excused himself and walked up to her. 

"Monica? Can we talk?" He asked. She nodded and placed Kate down and told her to go find Lila, her nanny. Kate nodded and ran off. 

"What?" She asked turning around. He led her onto the patio and closed the French doors behind him. 

"Mon, we understand that you're grieving, but it's been a year and you aren't seeming to snap out of this funk," he told her.

"Oh what would you know? Did your husband die?"

"I think that we would have much bigger issues to address if my husband died," Chandler said. 

"You know what I meant," Monica said. She wiped the tears that were now steadily falling down her face. 

"Monica," he said softly. "We just want to help you." She nodded.

"I know, but Chandler. I feel like I'm this horrible person and if I laugh or smile or am happy for one minute, that I'm even more of a terrible person."

"Monica you aren't a terrible person. Pete would want you to move on and be happy. And what about Kate? Do you want her to grow up with a mother who never laughs? Don't you think that she'll have to go through major therapy if that happens?" Monica laughed slightly. "Look I got you to smile. Come here." He pulled her tightly to him.

"Chandler? I just can't get this one question out of my head," she whispered.

"What's that honey?" He asked moving the hair out of her face. 

"Where do I go from here?" He didn't know the answer, so he just rocked her back and forth in his arms. 

Look at me 

I'm in a place

I never thought that I'd be

I don't have the strength to fight anymore

or a reason not to leave

Chandler stopped by the house early in the morning a few weeks later. Monica came running out and waved to him. 

"Park your car in the garage and we'll load up the jeep," she called out to him. He nodded and pulled his jalopy of a car next to one of her Jaguars. When he walked back into the driveway he saw that there was a jeep parked and Monica's staff was loading it up. He went inside and saw Kate standing in the front hall her bear in her hands.

"Chandler!" She spotted him and jumped into his arms. 

"Hey sweetie, are you ready for a week of fun in the sun?" He asked. She nodded.

"Mommy's sad though," she told him.

"Why honey?"

"She hasn't been back to the beach house since Daddy went away," Kate told him. She stuck her little thumb into her mouth and Chandler nodded. He hadn't thought about the memories that Monica would have of her beach house. He didn't even know the extent of it. That had been the first place that Monica and Pete had made love and where he had proposed and where she had told him that she was pregnant. The walls seeped with memories of her and Pete and their life together. It would certainly be odd being there without him and with Chandler instead. They had grown closer now that he was back, but both understood that she wasn't ready for a relationship. He found her in the office looking at pictures of her and Pete.

"I can take Kate up there by myself," he told her. "We'll be back in a week." Monica shook her head.

"No you were right, I need to move on," she assured him and turned around and wiped the tears that had made a salty path down her cheek and followed him out.

"Mommy? Are we ready to go?" Kate was bouncing up and down with excitement. 

"Yep, sweet girl, lets go," she said swinging the three year old onto her hip. "Lets go." Chandler nodded and got into the driver's seat and Monica strapped Kate in and climbed into the passenger's side and they drove off. He occasionally glanced over at her to see how she was doing. Her sunglasses hid her eyes, and so he couldn't tell that she was doing her best to keep her watering eyes from spilling over. They pulled up to the private beach house and she got out and walked to the front door and punched in the code and opened the door. Chandler carried Kate in with him and found her looking into the master bedroom finally letting the tears fall. 

"This can be your bedroom," she told him. She turned and found Kate's hand and led her to her room. Chandler walked into the bedroom and looked around. He figured this had always been Monica and Pete's because he saw the pictures on the walls of the two of them and that's when he noticed that there was a coffee cup on the one side of the bed, he knew that Monica liked a certain side of the bed, so he assumed it was Pete's. Then something caught the corner of his eye and he walked over. It was the blinking of the answering machine. He pressed the button to hear the message. 

"Hey Petey, its Gretchen. I was just calling to tell you that I wouldn't be able to make our weekend specials this week. Something's come up. You can spend the weekend with that pretty little wife of yours. Anyway, call me later." He stood in shock listening to it again. He didn't know what to do. Should he tell Monica? Or not? Did she really need to know? Wouldn't it just hurt her? But she had felt so guilty for almost kissing Chandler the night he died, wouldn't this make her feel less guilty? He was so lost in his own deep thoughts, that he didn't notice Monica standing behind him.

"Whatcha doing?" She asked.

"Oh nothing," he lied. "I just saw the light blinking on the answering machine."

"Oh, who called?"

"It was an old message of yours actually," he found that lying to her at this point was considerably easier. "Want to hit the beach?" She nodded and turned and went to get Kate ready. He closed his door and sunk to the bed with his head in his hands. He had to tell someone, he had to ask someone's advice. He picked up the phone and called Rachel.

"Hello?" She asked.

"Rachel?"

"Hey Chandler! Are you at the beach?"

"Yeah, listen, I need to talk to you about something."

"What's up?"

"There was this message..." 

so tell me why I keep holding on

to something I just cannot see

what makes you stay

when your world falls apart

He couldn't look her in the eye for the rest of the night. 

"Rachel and the rest of them are going to come up this week too," he told her. "They ended up being able to get time off after all." 

"Oh, okay," she said smiling and looked down at her plate and cut up her meat.

"Mommy? Is Daddy an angel now?" Kate asked. Chandler wanted to tell her no, men who cheat on their wives don't become angels. Was he planning to spend the night over Gretchen's house that night? Was he really going to stop at the office? Or was he lying? Like he did every weekend to Monica? What had Rachel said? 

_"He's never around, I wonder how Monica can stay married to the guy...." _The words bounced around in Chandler's head. He's never around. Never around. Never. Around. 

"Chandler?" He found Monica staring at him.

"Yeah?"

"What's the matter?"

"Just deep in thought is all," he assured her and she smiled at him once more before resuming the conversation that she had been having with Kate. He finally had to leave the table and excused himself and practically sprinted to his bedroom to look for more clues. He really didn't need to; the answering machine message would have been enough to condemn Pete, but he couldn't help himself from looking around. He remembered when Rachel told him about the beach house and how it might be a good idea for Monica to go there. 

"She never went there," Rachel had said. "It was like Pete's secret hideaway. Monica used to tell us when they would fight he would go up there to clear his head." Clear his head, Chandler thought. That wasn't all that he had been doing. He shook his head and bent down to look under the bed. There was victory, he saw an envelope. He pulled it out and saw that it was two plane tickets to Mexico.

"Monica?" He called out standing up. 

"Yes?" She opened his door and he quickly hid the envelope behind his back. 

"Were you and Pete planning a trip to Mexico?" She shook her head. The tickets, he realized, weren't for her. They were for that Gretchen and Pete. She left the room and he continued his search. At the end he had turned up a bottle of perfume, that he knew Monica would never had worn, a business card with the name Gretchen Langdon, a picture of Pete and this woman on the beach. Lucky for Pete that Monica had never come up here, because she was a smart woman and she would have pieced it together quickly. He hadn't been very good at destroying all the evidence. Outside of his door he heard a knock on the door and Monica answered it.

"Hey!" It was their friends who had dropped everything and rushed up there when Chandler told them of what he had found. They each gave her a hug and she looked at them with a confused expression. 

"What's going on?" 

"Oh nothing," Joey said quickly. "We just thought to ourselves, what would be more fun then hanging out at a gorgeous beach house with our millionaire friend?" Monica gave him a skeptical glance but dismissed it as usual Joey chatter. 

"I'm going to go give Katy her bath," she said picking her daughter up and disappearing down a hallway. 

"So Chandler, we want to hear this message," Phoebe said standing and following Chandler into his bedroom and he closed the door and pressed play on the answering machine. The woman's voice floated through the air.

"I swear if he wasn't dead, I'd kick his ass!" Joey said. "How dare he do that to Monica? I thought he was a nice guy." 

"So did I," Phoebe said quietly. "And usually I am I pretty good judge of character." They sat in silence before a knock from Monica awakened them from their thoughts.

"I think that she should know," Ross said quietly. "It'll hurt her, but what if she finds out on her own? He obviously didn't cover his tracks very well."

"I agree," Rachel said. And Joey and Phoebe nodded their opinions and Chandler sighed. 

"Okay," he said opening the door to Monica.

"What are you guys doing? What took you so long to open the door?" 

"Mon," Chandler said. "We need to talk." He took her hand and led her into the room and sat her in the chair. 

"We're so sorry Monica, we didn't know whether or not you should know, but in the end its better if you do know," Rachel said. "Go ahead and play it Chandler." Monica sat in stunned silence while the truth was revealed. She looked around at all her friends. Then down at her wedding band that she hadn't taken off and she sighed. 

"I have to go get some air," she said and opened the doors leading to the balcony and quickly shut them behind her. She ran towards the corner where the moonlight didn't hit and sunk into the shadows. She found the beach chair and curled into a ball and cried. 

what makes you try one more time

when it's not in your heart

at the end of your rope

when you can't find any hope

That's where Chandler found her an hour later. He brushed the hair out of her face and kissed the place that her tears had fallen. 

"Chandler?" 

"Yes sweetie?" 

"I just....you were right to tell me....I should...don't....Kate....Pete, he was never....I don't hate....I'm so....what do I do?" She looked up at him with a confused expression and Chandler hated Pete at that moment. More then he had when Monica had said I do, more then he had when he heard that they were going to have a baby together. How dare he do this to her?

"Shush, Mon, its okay," he was an inch away from her. He remembered the last time that they had been this close, and the officers told her that Pete was dead. She moved closer to his lips. They closed their eyes and leaned in.

"I shouldn't," she finally said breaking the moment. "I'm not ready. Even though, I mean, I don't feel so morally against it anymore, but..."

"I understand," he told her and began to pull away. 

"Oh screw Pete," she said. "Everyone else certainly was." He laughed and pulled her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he pulled her to her feet and kissed her while the moonlight bounced off the ocean and the sound of the breaking waves set the romantic mood to a night that had started off anything but romantic. 

"Chandler?" 

"Yes?"

"Does this make me a bad person?"

"Absolutely not," he assured her kissing her again. 

__

you still look at him and say

I just can't walk away

tell me what makes you stay

I'm not afraid of living alone

I was alone before he came

Rachel sat on the deck and saw Monica laughing. Truly laughing, for the first time in a very long time. Chandler, Kate, and her were all down by the water's edge playing in the sand. They were making a sandcastle. Chandler put the goopy sand all over his hands and chased Kate who squealed with delight and dove behind her mother. 

"I'm going to get you!" Rachel heard. 

"No, Mommy! Make the sand monster go away!" Monica's laughter was heard and then Chandler chased her into the water. 

"Chandler!" Kate's little voice admonished. "You made Mommy get all wet." 

"Oh I did? Oh I'm sorry," he said before dunking Monica. 

"That's it Bing! Now you're going to get it!" She jumped on him and pushed him under water. 

"Hey!" He sputtered when he came up. Rachel heard Joey behind her. 

"If I didn't know better," Rachel said. "I would say that they were falling in love."

"Again," Joey said.

"What do you mean again? Joe, to do something again, you had to do it once already," Rachel said tapping her finger against her coffee cup. 

"Exactly," he told her. "They dated."

"No they didn't! I was her best friend and roommate! I would have known if they had been dating," Rachel said defiantly. 

"Well, you didn't. I was the only one who knew. Go find old photo albums from right after we got back from London. Monica has them stashed somewhere. Full of Chandler and her hanging all over each other at all the touristy attractions of New York." 

"No," Rachel said and then she thought about it. What about when Monica had that boyfriend that no one met. Could it have been Chandler? She looked at Joey once more before realization set in. 

"Wow," was all she said. Then she looked back down at the couple in the water who were laughing and talking. "Wow." 

__

and I've been in love

many times before

but this times not the same

I've always been the first to say goodbye

now its the last thing I can do

"I still don't know about this," Monica said once more. Her and Chandler laid in her bedroom talking and his finger traced circles on her bare stomach. "I mean, I'm still in the grieving process!"

"A widow who just found out that her husband had been cheating on her."

"Maybe...I mean....could she have been a colleague?"

"Up at his beach house for a weekend special?" Chandler snorted. "Doubt it."

"I feel so guilty, why do I feel so guilty?"

"Because you're a good person," he told her.

"Will everyone think that I'm a bad person if I date you only a year after my husband dies?"

"No, and who cares anyway? The only people that matter are our friends." 

"We should tell them," she added. "They'll want to know." 

"Should I go back to my room?" He asked.

"No," she said firmly. "Please stay." 

what makes you stay 

when your world falls apart

what makes you try one more time

when its not in your heart

at the end of your rope

when you can't find any hope

"Monica and I have something to tell you," Chandler told his friends.

"Is it that you're seeing each other for the second time?" Phoebe asked grinning. "Cause we know that."

"How do you know?" Monica asked her expression mirrored by Chandler's look of befuddlement (AN: My new favorite word! So much fun to say!) 

"Well, Joey told us about your torrid affair," Rachel said. "And we've seen Chandler sneaking into your room at night." 

"Well," Monica said. "Then we have no announcement." They all laughed and started eating the food that Monica had prepared. At the beach house they never took their cook or maids along. Up there they fended for themselves, which Monica and Kate didn't like because they were not used to doing things for themselves. The others however, were not used to someone waiting on them hand and foot, so they didn't mind. 

"Is Chandler going to become my new daddy?" Kate spoke up that night as Monica was tucking her in. 

"Well, in order for him to be your daddy I'd have to marry him," Monica said. 

"Are you going to?" Kate asked.

"I don't know," Monica told her. 

"Why not? Do you love him?"

"Well, yes," Monica told her.

"Then marry him."

"It's not that easy honey," Monica said. 

"Why not?"

"Because it's just not."

"That's because you grown-ups make it hard," Kate yawned and reached her tiny arms around her mother's neck.

"Goodnight baby," Monica told her.

"Night Momma," Kate's voice droned off as she slipped into sleep. Monica flipped out the lights and realized that their week at the beach would be up the next day. She wondered if her and Chandler could remain together once they were home. It seemed when you went away that life was so simple and easy, and it would be different when they got back to their everyday routines. They wouldn't have the privacy that they had up here. Chandler lived in the city, and he worked everyday. Monica didn't. 

"Who are we kidding?" She said out loud. But at the same time she couldn't imagine not having Chandler by her side. It was like not having a nose or two ears. She felt incomplete. She realized with a start that she loved him. She loved all his little idiosyncrasies, and he loved hers, if that was even possible. Pete had been a nice guy, and he had given her Kate, and security for the rest of her life, but he never gave her the feeling that she had had with Chandler. Like nothing could go wrong when she was in his arms. She had been wrong of course. They had broken up. It had gone wrong, but at the same time, their affair had happened so fast that she hadn't really had time to comprehend what was happening when it had been happening. She found him in the living room reading a book.

"Katy asleep?" He asked taking off his glasses. She nodded. "What's the matter?" And everything that she had been feeling and thinking came pouring out. He listened to her and nodded and held her hand. 

"What do you think?" She asked.

"I think that I love you. And these five years without you have been wasted. I think that we can make it work because I love you and you love me and that's all that matters. I think that Pete didn't realize how lucky he was. I think that I want to marry you and adopt Kate, and live happily ever after. That's what I think." She smiled at him.

"If we could bottle the energy that it took for you to say that that fast, we could make a fortune," she teased. 

"What do you think? How do you feel about us? All that crap about you grieving aside ," he told her. 

"I think that I can't convince myself that this is wrong," she told him.

"Then," he said kissing her on the cheek. "Don't try to." 

you still look at him and say

I just can't walk away

tell me what makes you stay 

when it goes this deep

feels this strong

I can't convince myself 

that this love is wrong

oh no

"Monica and I are getting married," Chandler announced a year later. 

"That's great!" Rachel said. 

"Congratulations," Ross said.

"I'm the flower girl," Kate announced. 

"I call best man," Joey said. 

"You can't just call best man," Ross said angrily. 

"Sure I can, and I did. And you know what? While I'm at it, if they have another kid? I call godfather!" 

"Joey you can't do that!" Ross argued. Monica smiled at Chandler who slipped his hand into hers and brought hers to his mouth and gave it a kiss.

"Should we tell them the other part of our announcement?" He asked.

"Sure why not?"

"Monica and I have something else to tell you," he said clearing his throat.

"I'm pregnant!" 

"I'm going to be a big sister?" Kate said.

"Yes you are," Chandler told her picking her up.

"Please make it a sister Mommy," the four-year-old pleaded. That brought laughs from everyone else. 

"You're doing great!" Chandler told Monica holding her hand. "Just one more push."

"Push it yourself," Monica said. 

"Okay Mrs. Bing, one more time," the doctor said. They heard the crying of a baby. "It's a beautiful healthy baby boy."

"A boy Mon!" Chandler told her. She smiled weakly. The doctor handed him to Chandler who took him over to Monica and laid him gently in her arms. 

"He's so beautiful," Monica breathed. 

"What should we name him?" Chandler asked kissing his wife's head. "And you do know that Katy is going to be mad at us for having a boy?" 

"I think that we should name him Matthew Joseph Bing," Monica said. 

"That's a beautiful name," Chandler told her. "So we're going to have Kate and Ross mad at us?" Monica nodded and laughed.

"They can deal with it or they can take it up with me," she told him. 

"Well, I think that I would rather deal with it then cross you," Chandler told her. "Although, Kate's so much like you that I don't know who would win in that match."

"Hey, I've got a good two or three feet on her," Monica said gazing into the face of her baby. Chandler laughed.

"You do have a point," he told her. They sat there in silence for a long time before Monica spoke up. 

"I think I've finally done it," she said.

"What?" Chandler asked. 

"I think I finally forgive Pete," Monica said. "For what he did. It seems ridiculous to hold on to it. He's dead, and he hurt me, but he led me back to you."  


__

At the end of your rope

when you can't find any hope

you still look at him and say

I just can't walk away

tell me what makes you stay

Tell me what makes you stay

~* I think that that will be the end, unless I get an overwhelming request to keep going. I hoped that you liked it. Please review and tell me what you thought!*~


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